A couple of years ago, I wrote a poem about depression and the church. Although it has aged well, it is still a major issue, especially in the African American community. I follow this guy on TikTok who does these parodies of parent and child, talking about parenting and mental health. He does one where he tells his mom that he thinks he’s depressed. His mom’s reply was “depress those dishes”. Although it was funny, it was so true. Mental health isn’t really taken seriously in the African American community, especially the church. People question your faith when you speak about having depression, anxiety, or any mental health issue. They tell you to read the Bible and pray about it, but what happens after that? If scripture says God’s will is for us to prosper and be in good health, surely, He is referring to our mental and emotional well-being as well.
It’s crazy what depression does to a person. It causes you to isolate, over eat or not at all, sleep all day or have insomnia, or create harmful habits. Depression will make you feel like you don’t want to die, but you don’t really want to live either. Depression will make your friends think you’re acting funny, when in reality, you’re doing all that you can just to get out of the bed in the morning. Depression can make you numb, cause you to dissociate from all of the things that used to bring you joy. You stop feeling and just surviving. All of the life that’s around you, and you feel none of it. You smile and live life like everything is going well, but people fail to see the lack of life in your eyes. Depression is a strange fellow. Joseph Solomon said in his poem entitled Depression Is, that it’s like a Lebron James hair line- it leaves and it comes back. It’s like a migraine; you never know when it’s going to show up and almost take you out. It’s like Covid-19; you never know who has it.
You may not even be aware that you have depression. I think my first encounter with mental health was when I was in middle school and I was braiding my cousin’s hair. Out of nowhere, I just broke out in tears. It felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I was also depressed when I was in high school, especially 9th grade when I tried to commit suicide. I can openly talk about it now because it was something that I shared with my daughter the day before my 30th birthday. Back then, I wouldn’t have dared went to the altar to tell someone to pray for me because I was almost a casualty at my own hands. Not the pastor’s daughter! When I sit and think, church really doesn’t allow for true humanity. We are taught to be gracious to others, but never to extend that grace to ourselves, hence why I believe we, as believers, backslide so much. How can we love our neighbor as thyself when we don’t truly know how to love ourselves?! There isn’t much room for error, only perfection. Church has taught us how to hide behind masks and facades to have the appearance of holiness, but lack the power thereof. Why do you think so many pastors commit suicide? Why do you think so many people leave the church? Why do you believe so many young people refuse to go? Why do you think PK’s struggle so much? Because for some, they see one thing in the home and another thing in the pulpit, thus creating children who struggle internally with their mental/emotional well-being and identity. This isn’t a stab at the church; this is just my observation. We do not know the full extent of the life of Jesus Christ, but what I do know is that the Garden of Gethsemane was the greatest testament of true humanity. Both Jesus, the man, and Christ, the Savior, showed up. I’m sure Jesus knew what depression was when He lived his entire life knowing that He was going to die for people He would never meet.
We’ve lost so many people due to depression. What people don’t realize is that there are different forms of depression. I think it’s about time that we start having honest conversation about it. I also believe that we need to start creating safe spaces for people to be open and share and not be demonized for it. We don’t always know what depression looks like. It could look like the happy go-lucky friend who is always the life of the party. It could be the CEO of a billion dollar company. It could be the lead pastor of a megachurch. It could be the former Miss USA. It could be you. If you or anyone that you know struggles with mental health, don’t shut them down or turn them away. Embrace them and help them seek out help. Mental health is an uncomfortable thing, but it is a necessary conversation. If you are in need of resources, shoot me a message. I know people that know people, lol. But seriously, mental health matters.
Since I can’t locate the poem, I’ll leave you with a couple of lines from it:
“Depression sounds a lot like
Jesus
I know it sounds negligent to speak of Him this way
Always sounded blasphemous to those who wanted him to be so God but, not so human
Depression is being betrayed by friends, questioned by family
mocked and beaten by enemies
It is showing up last to Lazarus deathbed, seeing his sister’s mourn
It is being so aware of how grim life really is that you sweat blood
It is being in your father’s counseling office in Gethsemane’s garden
only to be left naked and forsaken on wooden sticks
The true vine, crushed and destined out to dry on the cross and ferment in a grave
You think He didn’t know what it was like to be
depressed?”
Depression Is by Joseph Solomon