The weekend was a blur. I called out sick on Monday because I didn’t want to be around people. The trust that I had in humanity had failed me. My mind was racing. I don’t know what to think or how to feel. Theo had been texting and calling me since he left that night, but I haven’t taken any of his calls or read any of his messages. I lay in bed in what seemed like a nightmare. I still need to deal with Paul and now this. How could I have let this happen to me? Did I really want this? We had talked about sex before and I told him that I had an unhealthy relationship with it, and I didn’t want to involve it in my relationship until I knew I was ready. I told him I was trying my best to wait to be intimate with someone I was married to. I played back the conversation over and over again. How did I let this happen? My phone buzzed indicating that someone had texted me. I picked up my phone and saw that it was Amelia.
“Are you ok, Mina? Just checking in on you.”
I felt the hot tears stream down my face. My chest was tight from holding in all the fear and anxiety and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I texted her back and told her to stop by when she got off work today. My phone started to vibrate in my hand; she was calling.
“Mina-,”
“Please, Amelia. Just come by when you get off. I can’t right now,” I said to her through a cracking voice. She paused for a moment before saying ok and hung up.
I lay there in bed under the plush white duvet, feeling its warmth and yet feeling cold. I didn’t want to be alone, but I couldn’t be around anybody. I knew I didn’t need to be alone, but I couldn’t bring myself to call anyone to come and be with me. I didn’t want to have to share what had happened to me. I didn’t want them judging me. I was already judging myself on knowing better than to let him in my house while I was medicated. Why did I do that? How could I do this to myself? The tears started to collect themselves on my pillow as I lay there shuttering in pain. I didn’t know what to do, what to think, or how to feel. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my anxiety meds. It was early, but I needed the edge to be taken off just for a little while. I popped the pill and waited for it to kick in. While I was waiting, I decided to read Theo’s messages.
“So, are you not going to talk to me?” “Mina, please answer the phone.” “What is wrong with you?” “Are you really not talking to me?” Many others read about how childish I was and how I needed to talk to him. My head was spinning, and my heart was racing. I could feel my blood heating and I felt sick. I ran across the hallway to the bathroom and pulled up the toilet seat. I was dry-heaving. The tears were gathering in the toilet as the heaving took over my body. Everything and nothing left my body at the same time. I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and rinsed my mouth to rid myself of the bile taste. I went back across the hall to my bed and sank in. I had to text him back.
“You were waiting on this moment, weren’t you? You waited until I was good and vulnerable to do this to me? How could you?! How could you do this to me, Theo? You knew I didn’t want this. You have daughters. How would you feel if this happened to your daughter, Theo?!” I hit send and clutched the phone to my chest. My phone buzzed letting me know a text had come through. It was Theo.
“Well, if my daughter told me that she had taken a pill and invited someone over to her house, I’d ask her what did she expect to happen?” I was floored. I didn’t even read the rest of the message. I couldn’t read it. This man intentionally violated me. I put my phone down, turned, buried my head in my pillow, and began to scream. I screamed so hard and so loud that my throat was getting sore, but I didn’t care. I needed to feel something, anything other than what I was already feeling. I could feel the Xanax taking over my body, so I allowed it to rock me on to sleep.
–
“Mina! Mina!” Was I dreaming or was someone really yelling my name and pounding on my window? I roll over and pull the covers over my head.
“Mina! Get up before I come in this window!” Amelia. I had forgotten about her.
“Hold on!” I yelled back at her. I pull myself out of bed and head down the hallway to let her in. I open the door and then turn and head back down the hallway to my bedroom.
“Mina.” She called out to me, following me down the hallway, but I didn’t reply. I need to lay down. I just want to lay down, go back to sleep, and pretend none of this ever happened.
“Mina, damnit! Talk to me!” She had grown impatient with me, but I was tired, and I didn’t need her griping at me right now.
I crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. I could feel her sink down beside me on the bed. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I flinched, not because I didn’t want her to touch me but because touching was a trigger for me right now. She gave me a reassuring squeeze and I couldn’t hold it anymore. The dam broke and I had come undone all over again.
“Mina, please tell me what’s wrong. I’ve been worried all day.” She was rubbing my shoulder trying to comfort be, but it only made it worse. After the crying had subsided, I took a deep breath and started the story.
“Friday night, Theo and I went out. We went and grabbed some drinks and you know I haven’t been sleeping well, so I decided to take a sleeping pill to help me sleep.” I paused. I needed a minute to get myself together before telling her this part. I knew Amelia and I knew sometimes her reactions were unpredictable.
“Well, I told him that I had taken one and that I needed to leave soon because I wanted to be home when it kicked in. He said it was cool and asked if he could come over and I told him he would need to leave before became sleepy.” I needed a minute. I was getting ready to relive this all over again.
Amelia sensed something because she said, “What happened, Mina?!” I could hear the concern laced with anger in her voice.
“Amelia,” I started. “We were sitting on the couch in the living room and we were talking. He started talking about something that his son had done, and I laid my head down. I didn’t even know that I had fallen asleep until I felt hands on me. You know how you wake up, but you’re so disoriented that you don’t know if you’re still asleep or not? Well, I was in that state and I saw him take off my pants and I was out again.” I was still under the covers, but I could feel the heat from Amelia’s hand on my shoulder. I continued.
“Then when I came to again, he was between my legs and I was out again.”
“Mina-,”
“And then when I came to again, and I found myself bent over the sofa.” I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the heat from the tears run down my face.
“Amelia, he….he,” I couldn’t say it.
“He raped you. Mina, he raped you,” she said in a voice so small that if you weren’t listening, you would miss it. I heard her sniffles and I knew that she was crying.
“Mina, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I’m so sorry, Mina.” She scooped me up in her arms and held me. I felt everything and was numb at the same time. It felt like the entire world was sitting on my chest.
“I’m so mad right now. I want to kill him, Mina. I want him dead.” I cried harder. I was crying so hard that my body was shaking. Amelia squeezed me for comfort, but I felt none.
“Amelia, I don’t know how I let this happen. I shouldn’t have let him in my house. I shouldn’t have-,”
She cut me off. “You wait one minute, Mina! This is not your fault! He did this to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You thought you could trust him, and he violated you. Don’t you dare for one second own this.” She was yelling at me. I know she wasn’t trying to, but she was upset. She was right, but I still felt responsible. I should’ve known better.
“I know, but I should’ve known better, Amelia. I should’ve known better.”
“Oh, Mina,” was all she could say. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I was exhausted from crying and having to relive it all over again.
“Have you heard from him?” she asked.
“He’s been calling and texting,” I said to her between sniffles. I finally pulled the covers from over my head and rolled out of her embrace to get my phone. I unlocked it and opened it to my text messages. I opened the thread between Theo and I and handed her the phone for her to read them. I watched her face as she read them.
“Mina-,” she was indeed in shock. I still couldn’t believe what he said.
“He said that I initiated it. I don’t remember that. I barely remember anything.” Was my mind playing tricks on me? Did this really happen the way that I said it did? I was starting to doubt myself. What if I did initiate it? I couldn’t have. At this point, I had no more tears. I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep it all away.
“Have you decided what you are going to do?” She meant was I going to go to the police. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I was still trying to process what happened.
“I don’t know what to do, Amelia. I’m still struggling about this happening to me,” I said to her.
I was indeed struggling. The thoughts and emotions were overwhelming. I had no sense of time. I spent most of my waking hours thinking about how I could’ve prevented this from happening to me, then I would overwhelm myself remembering that it all happened, take a Xanax and let sleep have its way with me.
“You don’t have to make a decision right now, Mina. Just know I want him dead for what he did to you.”
I didn’t know what I wanted. My phone started to buzz in Amelia’s hand. She read out the number to me and I gathered it was Paul. I told her to answer it.
“Hello.” She was zeroed in on the voice on the other line.
“Paul, she’s unavailable at the moment. I may or may not have her to call you back,” she said and hung up the phone. So much was happening in my little world. I went from not an ounce of drama to what felt like a daily soap opera. Amelia and I were staring at each other. I knew the look she was giving me meant that I needed to take care of me.
“I know you don’t know what to do right now, Mina, but at least schedule an appointment with your therapist. I know you just had a visit, but this is another traumatic event that you need to talk about.”
I was tired, but she was right. I told her that I would call tomorrow and schedule a visit.
“Can I stay with you for a couple of days?” I didn’t want to be alone. I had lived in this house for what seems like forever and this was the first time I’ve ever felt unsafe.
“You know you didn’t have to ask me that. You can stay as long as you need to,” she said as she hugged me. I was thankful for Amelia. I knew I needed to call Laila and tell her, but right now I was done talking about it. I needed to be out of this house. She told me to lay down while she packed my bag. When she was done, she asked me if I wanted to drive or if I wanted to just get in the car with her since we worked at the same place. I opted to drive just in case I decided I was ready to come home. I locked up the house and trailed Amelia back to her house. While she made dinner, I took a shower and found refuge in her bed. I wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t want her to sit by herself and have dinner, so I went in the living room and she distracted my thoughts with trash tv.
…….
It was the day of my therapy session. It had been two weeks since everything had gone down. I was anxious. I knew this session would be different. I had therapy via video, and I was in the waiting room waiting for her to jump on the line and join the room. My hands were shaking.
“Hey!” I heard her say through my headphones.
“Hi,” I replied back.
“That sounded a little different. Let’s review your questionnaire and then we’ll get into it,” she said to me looking at another screen. She asked all the necessary questions before proceeding with today’s session.
“So, I can tell by your “hi” that something is wrong. Tell me what’s important today.”
I took a deep breath and told her the same story that I had told Amelia.
“Do you know what that is, Mina? Can you tell me what that is?” She wanted me to say the word, but I could not say it. I wasn’t ready to call it what it was. The thought of actually saying the word out loud gave me anxiety.
“I was violated in my own home,” was all I could say.
“Are you ready to acknowledge what that is?” I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to call a spade a spade because it made it all real for me. I was still trying to process it all.
“I know this is hard for you, Mina, and I am so sorry that this happened to you. I also need you to know that none of this is your fault. I need you to know that.” I was still struggling with that.
“I know, but I keep playing over in my mind how I could’ve avoided this,” I told her.
“Mina, this is not your fault. You cannot own this. This is not your fault,” she said to me and I could tell she really wanted me to believe it.
“Mina, even though you don’t want to say it, I’m going to say it for you because in order for you to not own this, I want you to fully understand what happened to you. Mina, you were raped,” she said to me in a soft and gentle voice. I was still exhausted from the emotional baggage that I’ve been carrying from Paul finding out about the baby and this weight just added more to it. I cried and she let me.
“It’s ok, Mina. It’s ok to cry.” Her voice was a soothing balm to my fragile spirit. It had been broken. I felt like all of the work I had done was thrown out the window. I was anxious all of the time, I barely slept, and I trusted no one. I panicked when I was out in public because I was afraid that I would run into him. I had come undone.
“Have you talked to him or has he tried to reach out to you?” I told her that I had blocked him from my phone and social media and that he did call the office one day and Amelia answered the phone.
“How did she handle that?”
“She asked him if there was anything that she could help him because he didn’t need to speak to me.” We both laughed. She knew how protective Amelia was over me
“I have a question for you, Mina, and I want you to be completely honest with me.” I had no idea where she was going with this, but I steadied myself for the question.
“Do you want to know what really happened?” she asked me. I thought about what I remembered, but I knew I didn’t have the full story or picture. But honestly, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know.
“I honestly don’t know,” I replied.
“You don’t have to make a decision today, but just think about it. I also know that knowing would require you to talk with him again and you have to be mentally and emotionally ready to do so. Just think about it ok?” I nodded my head letting her know that I would. We talked more about how and what I was feeling, and she gave me some coping tools and mechanisms. She also provided me with a number to a hotline if or when I was ready to report it. I took down the information and told her I would think about it. We ended the chat and I felt better than I had in days, but the question about me wanting to know kept bothering me. It made me anxious and I knew in order to cure that anxiety , and had to call him and demand that he tell me the truth about what happened.
I go in the kitchen and fix me a glass of wine because I knew what I was getting ready to do, I needed to take the edge off to do it. With my phone in my hand, I gulped it down and found Theo’s name in my phone and pressed send.
“Hello,” he answered on the second ring. His voice made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I had goosebumps all over my arms. My heart was beating fast and I felt panic. I took a deep breath and started talking.
“I did not call you to have casual conversation. I need for you to tell me what happened that night,” I said to him in a calm and steady voice.
“How have you been, Mina?” he asked me. This man was psychotic.
“Theo, tell me what happened.” He took a deep breath and started to talk.
Mina, I…. Ok, this is what happened. We were in the middle of conversation when you put your head down and closed your eyes. It took me a minute to realize that you were asleep, and when I did, I just watched you sleep. I put my hand on your thigh and,” he paused.
“And what?” I said to him.
“And you opened your eyes and looked at me, so I moved my hand. Then you laid your head down and closed your eyes again and your legs fell open and I just… I-,” he paused again.
“You what, Theo?” I yelled. “What did you do?!”
He sighed and continued talking. “I started kissing you in between your legs and you started moaning, so I took your pants off.”
Oh. My. Goodness. I could not believe what I am hearing. I was in disbelief and I was furious, but I needed him to finish.
“When I saw you open your eyes and look at me, I thought this was what you wanted, so I continued.”
“But you knew I didn’t want this! You knew because we had talked about it!” I was yelling. I could not contain it anymore. “Did I consent, Theo?! Huh?! Did I say that I wanted that?!”
“No, but-“,
“But what, Theo?! What?! Why did you remove your hand from my thigh when I looked at you?” He was quiet on the other line.
“Answer me!” I yelled in the phone.
“Because I remembered what you said,” he answered.
“And you still proceeded to do what you wanted to do?!” I was enraged. I was shaking so bad that my teeth were chattering.
“Can you please stop hollering at me?” he said softly in the phone.
“Hell no! You want me to be kind to you after you violated me?! You know what you did to me, Theo?! Do you know? After I shared with you things about my childhood, you do this to me?! You know what you did to me, Theo?! I’ll tell you what you did! You raped me, Theo! You raped me!” It was in that moment that what happened to me became real. The thing that I wasn’t ready to say earlier came pouring out of me. I wanted him to feel the weight of his actions. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling.
“Why are you being dramatic, Mina?” he said to me. The nerve of this negro calling me dramatic!
“Wait a minute! You do not get to do that! You do not get to minimize my experience! You knew I didn’t want that because we had a conversation about it, and I didn’t consent to any of it. It was rape, Theo. It was rape!” The act was now alive, and we were both living in it.
“Mina, stop-,”
I cut him off. “Theo, this is the very last time I will ever talk to you again. Please do not ever reach out to me or try to contact me ever again!” I hung up the phone and threw it across the couch. There were so many feelings that I had no idea what to do with them. I sank to the floor and cried.
I had finally said it. I had finally put a name to what happened to me. This was acknowledgement and the weight of that acknowledgement was crushing me. Theo had violated me in the worst way. I was crying so hard that I didn’t realize that someone was knocking at my door. I gathered myself and yelled who is it to see if they would answer. They didn’t, so I got off the floor and made my way to window to see who it could be. It was Paul!
He remembered where I lived because he used to come over often, but this is his first time ever coming over without an invitation. He never popped up to see me. He always called first, but since I wasn’t taking any of his phone calls or replying to any of his text messages, I guess he figured this was the only way to get my attention. Paul was standing on my porch with his hands in his pockets dressed in a tank top, basketball shorts, and sneakers. He had on a worn ball cap and shades. I could tell by the purse of his lips that he was in a subdued mood. I closed the blinds and wiped my face before I opened the door.
“I’m so sorry for showing up unannounced, but I really need to talk to you. Mina, I-,” he stopped talking. We stood there looking at each other through my glass door and I must admit, he looked good. I could tell he’s been working out by the definition in his arms and the way his pecs protruded through the tank top. We stared at each other for a minute before I opened the door. He searched my face. He knew something was wrong. He reached for me.
“Mina, are you ok?” he said softly to me. My head lowered, shaking left to right -letting him know that I wasn’t. He stepped inside and closed both doors and hugged me. I cried into his chest and he just rubbed my back and kept telling me everything would be ok. We walked over to the loveseat and sat down.
“Mina -,” before he could get out anything else, I blurted out what had happened to me.
“I was raped.” He made a sound like someone had knocked the wind out of him and his eyes bucked.
“What did you just say?” he said just above a whisper. I started to cry, and I was also trying to figure out why I just shared this with him. Paul and I had always been friends. He was one of my best guy friends who knew more about me than some of my girlfriends. We used to spend a lot of time together even before we got involved. So much had transpired between us, yet somehow, I still felt that he was still my person. I lifted my head and repeated what I had said to him.
“I was violated in my own home, Paul. I was raped.”
He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into an embrace. He squeezed me so tight that it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Mina, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I’m so sorry, Mina,” was all he said over and over again. I was beyond exhausted. Between therapy, the conversation with Theo and Paul showing up at my doorstep, I had nothing else to give. I tried to make words, but they wouldn’t form.
“Don’t say anything else, Mina. Please, just let me hold you and be here for you,” he said. I could tell that his heart was broken. Paul was a man’s man, but a gentle giant. He was kind and loving. When we were together, he was so good to me. He made me feel safe and wanted. He saw me. He felt me. He loved me. Other than Bella, he was my absolute favorite person. He was the only person I’d ever dated that made me feel. I don’t know why I told him, but I knew that I was safe. I snuggled up to him as close as I could and he grabbed ahold of me as if he was grasping for life. He rubbed my arm to comfort me, and whispered “It’s going to be ok.” I knew his heart was breaking because he’s seen me cry, but he’s never seen me like this. He rocked me until the aftershock of crying wore me out and I dozed off in his arms.
…….
It had been a month since Paul showed up at my doorstep and he hasn’t left my side. He took time off work to be with me. He came to my job on lunch so that we could eat together, and he stayed at the house every night because I was struggling being home alone. He would lay with me until I fell asleep and would ease out to sleep in the guest bedroom. He sat through therapy with me and we even did a couple of sessions together to talk about what happened between us and the decision I made to abort the baby. He was right there with me, and I was grateful for him. It was almost school time and Bella would be coming home soon, but he insisted on staying when she got home. I told him that I would think about it and would let him know. He made dinner every night and always invited Amelia and Laila to come. He knew that I needed support, love and comfort, and he made sure I had it. This was one of the many reasons why I had fallen for him. He was such a thoughtful guy. When he knew it was a bad day, he would bring me sushi and Talenti and we would binge watch Netflix until I felt better. Him being here made me remember why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
It was Saturday morning and the sound of music rattled me from my slumber. I knew that he was either working out or making breakfast. This was his Saturday routine and this is how he always got me out of bed. I swing my feet over the side of the bed and sit there a minute, brushing through my thoughts and how different life was for me now. I thought about Theo every day and how that one night changed my life forever. I hop off the bed and drag myself down the hallway. I didn’t smell food, so that meant he was working out. I found him in the den doing push-ups. He looked good. I could tell he was focused because he didn’t notice me standing next to him. I watched the way his blades contacted with every push-up. The grunt let me know that he had been at it for a while. He probably went over the goal he had set for himself. He was that kind of person. I stuck my foot out where he could see it and he laughed. It was infectious.
“Come on and do these last 20 with me, woman,” he said between grunts. He knew that I hated push-ups, but I didn’t argue with him about it. I smacked my lips, rolled my eyes and got down on the floor with him.
He stopped long enough to let me get in position.
“One,” he counted out loud to me. I was already over it.
“I really don’t want to do this, PJ,” I huffed out, calling him the nickname I had given him. My arms were already shaking, and I had only done one.
“Come on, Minnie Mina! We only have 19 more to go,” he looked over at me and smiled that gorgeous smile. I stuck my tongue out at him and rolled my eyes. I powered through the rest of the push-up and collapsed on the floor beside him, tired and out of breath.
“How did that feel?” He asked me.
“Horrible! You know I hate push-ups.”
He laughed. “What you want for breakfast?”
“Waffle House?” I said.
“Sounds good. You order while I shower, and I’ll go pick it up. Get me the usual,” he said as he scrambled off the floor and stood over me. He stuck his hand out to help me up and I swatted it away.
“Don’t be a sour patch kid, Mina. Just be glad we didn’t go running,” he said winking down at me and walking away. I watched him over my head disappear down the hallway and into the bathroom. I had left my phone in the den the night before and it was buzzing letting me know that someone was calling. It was a number that I did not recognize, so I decided to answer it like I usually do.
“Is this Jesus?” I say into the phone.
“Hi, Mina. It’s me. Please don’t hang up.” It was Theo. The blood was rushing to my ears because they were getting hot. My heart was pounding in my chest and my breath felt constricted. My palms got sweaty and my hands were shaking. I was panting.
“You have no business contacting me, Theo,” I said when I finally found my voice.
“Mina, I know and I’m sorry, but I wanted to apologize for what I did to you. Since our last conversation, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve had so much bad luck and I’ve been depressed. I’ve almost wanted to die. I should have never done that to you, Mina. I promise I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought that’s what you wanted.”
My head was pounding, and I felt faint. I’ve been working hard to move on past this. I made peace within myself to move on. I decided not to report it because I didn’t want to go through the hassle and the possibility of being vilified and not believed. Anger flared in my chest, but I pushed the lid down on it and let the real emotion come forth.
“Theo,” I said to him through a cracking voice. “You hurt me. You violated me in my own home. I trusted you! You knew my history. I told you about my childhood and you did the one thing that I’ve fought so hard to get over. You broke me, Theo. You broke me. You took advantage of me in my own home. You raped me.” I was a puddle of tears, but I was not done talking.
“You called seeking peace and I pray that you find it because I forgive you, Theo. Whether I mean it or not in this moment, you need to hear it because I am moving on. Please do not contact me ever again. Goodbye, Theo.” I disconnected the call and dropped my phone on the floor. I wiped my face, got up and made my way down the hallway to my bedroom and laid down on the bed. I was done crying. I was done being his victim. I was done being a victim. I must’ve been laying there a while because I didn’t hear Paul get out the shower. He was standing in my doorway fully dressed.
“Minnie, you ordered the food?” He asked, playfully. I shook my head to let him know that I didn’t.
“You ok?” I didn’t say anything. He walked over and hopped in bed with me. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling.
“Theo called me,” I said to him. I felt him move and I could tell that he was looking at me.
“What did he want?” I could tell that question was laced in anger. Paul shared with me how all of this made him feel. He expressed to me on several occasions that if we had been together this would’ve never happened. He started taking ownership of the situation and I had to talk him off the ledge. He was ready to do bodily damage and I had to remind him that reaping and sowing was a real thing.
“He wanted to apologize,” I sighed. We were both quiet for a moment.
“How do you feel?” He asked. I could tell he genuinely wanted to know.
“I feel ok. I’m done being his victim and I’m ready to move on with my life. I’m ready to put this all behind me and get back to the life I was living before all of this happened,” I said to him, meaning every word.
“I want to be a part of your future, Mina,” he said softly to me. “I know there’s a lot going on right now, but I want you to think about it. I want to be here with you and Bella, Mina. I want us to be a family.”
I felt the tears pool in the corner of my eyes and before they could fall, I bolted out of the bed and looked down at him.
“Let’s go get some food,” I said and turned and walked out of the door. My mind was racing. If I’m honest, Paul was the only person I ever wanted to be with, but right now I still had some healing to do and I knew that I didn’t have to rush to do it. He found me in the bathroom brushing my teeth. He walked over to the sink, kissed me on the cheek and walked back out. I smiled. It felt so good to have him here with me. It felt even better knowing that I was safe with him and had no worries.
When I found him, he was wrapping up a phone call.
“Alright, call me when it’s done,” he said into the phone and hung it up.
“Work?” I asked as I put my sneakers on.
“Yep. You about ready to go?”
“Yep.” I said back to him. We both grabbed our keys from the table and headed out of the door. We reached the car at the same time and before getting in, he called out to me.
“Mina,”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll do anything for you. You know that, right?” He said to me with earnest eyes.
I smiled because I knew that he would. I’ve seen him sit through the worst with me and still wanted to be here with me.
“Yeah, I know. Now, shut up and let’s go!” I said to him, laughing. He threw his cap at me and got in the car and in that moment I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Paul
“Oh my God! Oh my God!!! No, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!!” I heard Mina scream from down the hall. I rushed down the hallway to see what was wrong.
“Mina! Mina, what’s going on?!” I asked her, running over to her.
“He’s dead! Theo is dead!” She was sobbing uncontrollably. I scooped her up in my lap and held her.
“Oh, Mina.” I said, stroking her arm to comfort her.
“I can’t believe it. He’s dead,” she said almost incoherently. I rocked her until she calmed down. She stayed in my arms until she was still. I knew she had fallen asleep because of the way her body rose and fell.
It was no surprise to me that Theo was dead. See, I knew Theo. I had hired Theo to get close to Mina and break her heart and push her back into my arms. Me trying to get her pregnant didn’t work, so I had to go to extreme measures. What I didn’t expect was for Theo to actually fall for Mina and do this to her. He had crossed the line and had to pay. It was me who arranged the hit. It was a cake walk when I found out Theo was a drug dealer. Being an undercover government agent made it easy for me to move around anonymously. I used my resources to find where he lived, paid my contact to get the local dealers on board with taking him out, and set it up. It was staged to look like a break in gone wrong. Everything turned out the way it was supposed to.
When I told Mina I would do anything for her, I meant just that. I had planned to propose tonight, but I’ll wait until she is done mourning. He did good to live this long after she told me. I was ready to take him out that night. He hurt the woman that I loved, and it was something that I could not repair. I could not allow him to live on this earth anymore. I’ll never tell her that it was me and I hope she never finds out, but if she does she’ll be bonded to me forever. I tell Mina everything but this one, I’ll have to take this one to the grave.